Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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