Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
