Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
