I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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