he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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