sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
