I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Four minutes until I can fart!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
