I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
