I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Randomize
