last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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