he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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