Hey man sorry I got all grabby
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
