is your mom at the bar?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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