so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
