Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
