How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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