ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
