Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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