I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
