Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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