Duck Duck Cougar?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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