p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
