New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
