this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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