please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
