I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
