I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
