i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
