Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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