I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
