new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
