i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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