I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
