no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
