Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
