sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
