I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
