Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
