I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
This is my gift to your gina
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
