Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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