I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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