is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
