Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
