420 ftw
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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