p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Let's paint friendship bongs
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
