u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
