u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
