i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
