I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
