Non-Jews are for practice
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
